Lesson #13: Do not worry, especially for situations you have no control over
April 18, 2019
Worrying is prevalent in today’ society, yet it is a waste of time, especially when we have no control over certain situations. Are you the type of person that worries for every little thing? Or, regardless of what is happening around you, your happiness is being untouched?
I do know which one you are, but I have to admit that until two
years ago I was worrying a lot about many things. I was a perfectionist and,
because of that, I worried about work a lot. Some examples: being on time to
customers meetings, what if the outcome of the meeting was not the one I wanted,
what would people think about me? And the list can go on.
Other people may worry about money, relationships, health,
appearances, kids, family, etc. Some worry for negative events that might
happen in their life, or simply about their future. We all worry about something,
however, to what extent we worry makes the difference. If done in excess, then
it develops into anxiety and our well-being is affected.
Even though we know worrying, does more harm than good, why are we
still doing it? Because in our mind we associate the worry with other things.
For instance, we worry and think of all possibilities to ensure we do not have
any bad surprises, as if we have the power to foresee everything. We think if
we worry, we show people we care, or we may confuse worrying with finding solutions
and solving problems.
Looking back now, I can recognize and add a personal reason to the
ones already mentioned above. I grew up worrying, because I saw my mom doing it
all time. I guess I started emulating her, without realizing she had good motives,
I did not. Raising eight kids was not an easy task especially under the
circumstances back then. She did not know if we would have the basic needs met,
enough food on the table, cloths to wear, or if we would get the education she
wanted for us.
Although my life turned to be much different than hers, the worry
stuck to me. Because of what I have seen in my childhood, I thought worrying was
the norm and I would solve anyone’s problem by doing so. I am certain this is
valid not only for me but also for my siblings and for many other people in previous
and my generation. Our way of life turned out to very different, and we should evolve
and adapt to change.
I have good news though: I was able to break this habit even
though it took me many years. Why so long? Only two years ago, I started practicing
yoga and meditation. Since then, I can decouple myself from the situation; I am
not being so emotionally involved with everything. I am still a perfectionist,
but now I do what I have to do and I no longer worry. I see the situation just
as it is and I act as necessary.
There is no point of worrying especially when we have no control.
If something can be done, just do it, do not overthink. If not, do not bother overthinking,
or worrying because it just drains you out.